Everything You Need To Know About How Turn On An INFJ

Everything You Need To Know About How Turn On An INFJ

Wit

INFJs are… drawn to intelligence and they want their partners to favor intelligence as well extremely attracted to someone with an intricate and thoughtful mind peaked by the combination of intelligence + a great sense of humor because it keeps relationships interesting, lively and timeless extremely turned on by someone who is witty, well-spoken and somewhat geeky

observant of physical traits; however, are often more drawn to the internal aspects of a person impressed by anyone who can respond well to and keep up with their banter and wit — respectively, very turned on by someone who knows how to make them laugh and impress them with their rhetoric (AKA being kept on their toes)

Kindness

INFJs are attracted to… a kind-looking face with a bit of chill demeanor to it (e.g. some natural ruggedness or bareface/natural beauty) someone who expresses equal love for others/nature + open-mindedness someone who isn’t rude, big-headed, or seeks to put others down for superficial reasons someone who helps others without it being known, asked or publicized to help others kindness that doesn’t equate to weakness treating others how they would like to be treated a humanitarian outlook

Certain Kind of Eye Contact

INFJs weaknesses include… not lustful, but intriguing looks—as if the person is seeing something more in you that they desire but consciously aren’t letting their face or bodily actions express it the occasionally locked eyes from someone gets the INFJ’s attention but might throw them off their game if the timing is right (which INFJ will secretly enjoy  because they often times feel like very few people can get them off their game/surprise them) contemplative but warm eyes being able to naturally communicate with eyes (e.g. the glances that say enough)

Quiet Confidence

INFJs gets interested in… someone who presents “I’m capable of being on my own, and I’m not likely to back down” + respects themselves a certain amount of confidence, a mischievous twinkle in the eye or a saucy smile (AKA a bit of “trouble” without actually being distressing) + playful teasing someone who is comfortable enough to be independent without flaunting it — always walking to the beat of their own drum someone who has the courage to be their honest, true self and expresses willingness to keep growing as a person

This Is What Being An INFJ Is Really Like

This Is What Being An INFJ Is Really Like

If you’re familiar with the whole Myers-Briggs personality types scene, then you have most likely heard of the ultra-rare/hidden magical intuitive type called the INFJ. A simple google search will tell you that an INFJ is “the advocate,” “the counselor,” the idealists, the dreamers and doers, the people who can “peer into the soul,” the #lessthan1percent.

Upon further reading, you’ll learn that an INFJ often feels like they don’t fit in, hates small talk, has their head in the clouds (more often than not), prefers a small select group of friends, needs deep conversations with said small select group of friends, has the tendency to absorb the emotional energy in the room, cares and feels on a soul-deep level, will not hesitate to cut someone out of their life if necessary.

The internet has painted us out to be these rare, refined, mystical, introverted, all-knowing, people-loving, good-doers driven by our intuition and ideas. The INFJ has been Romanticized. And, as an INFJ, I find this unsettling. Deeply, deeply unsettling.So, in an attempt to rebel against this romanticized image, I thought I’d shed some light on the INFJ way.

INFJs tend to live in the grey area of life.

Maybe this is why people think we’re wise (whereas we think we know nothing), but INFJs tend to live and breathe ambiguity. And, according to a few articles, we hate the ambiguity. This isn’t particularly true. Do we enjoy the ambiguous? Yes and no. It really depends on the INFJ and their experiences in life. Some INFJs are more accepting of the ambiguities of life than others. In my case, I find the grey frustrating. But I embrace it.

This doesn’t mean I think everything is grey, though. It’s all circumstantial. There are situations that can (and will) provide a clear-cut line. Those lines need to be acknowledged (and they are). However, for the most part, I don’t need lines, closures, or definitions. Most are up for interpretation. INFJs like to talk about and consider those interpretations. We probably won’t get a concrete answer but mulling it over helps us endure the grey.

We’re extremely introverted.

Obviously. But I don’t know how to stress just how much of a fault our introversion can be. INFJs have to be incredibly careful not to live in their own head because we can do it so easily. It’s not hard for us to reject reality (especially in times of stress). I can be in the middle of a conversation with someone and I’ll accidentally “check out” (or purposefully, it really depends on the situation and how tired I am). We find solitude way too comfortable and most social situations exhausting. But it’s important to understand that we’re not actively trying to be rude. We care. We really do. But we’re also tired from the constant stimulus and just need to not. Autopilot is a switch easily flipped.

We’re in a constant state of feeling everything and feeling nothing all at once.

This one is a little hard to explain, but I’ll try my best.INFJs have the tendency to “tune in” on other people’s emotions. We take it all in, even if we don’t want to. This is why social situations can be exhausting…and why we burn out really quickly. But does this little affinity for other’s emotions and whatnot mean INFJs are empaths? Nope. Some INFJs may be actual empaths, but it’s more appropriate to say that INFJs are naturally empathetic. We’re just really great at taking in other people’s emotional energy. It’s a natural talent, and a curse.

Our aptitude for other people’s emotions means that we’re usually (severely) out of touch with our own. We feel everything from everyone but we don’t feel anything ourselves. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, we actually remember to register our feelings later on. Do you know how jarring it is to remember that you, the INFJ, have your own feelings? Very.

We think about “what is,” but it is deeply influenced by the experiences of others (i.e. human experience/condition/nature).

This plays into an INFJs talent/curse for feeling everything and nothing. Because we feel for others before ourselves, our grand abstract thinking and answer searching is centered around everyone else. This is how we can be so insightful. But when we’re plagued by big all-consuming existential questions (“What is life?” “What is human?”), we’re typically not part of the equation. Everyone else, their ideas, their life experience, is. An INFJ can easily forget that they are a person who also has experiences in the world because they naturally consider everyone else first.

We tend to have more questions than answers and we crave meaning to no end.

We INFJs ask a lot of questions. Honestly, this (and the feeling everything thing) is why I think the internet has labeled us “the counselor.” But that’s beside the point. Questions, for an INFJ, can lead to us spending hours, days, months, researching and looking for an answer, for some meaning. Universal truth, universal meaning, is always our aim. It’s can be an obsession. But an INFJ will never be satisfied. We know that anything universal is…well, I don’t want to say “impossible” because there needs to be room for being wrong,

but an INFJ understands that most (if not all) meaning is created (rather than inherent). This insight pains us, as well as inspires us. If we create meaning, then maybe, just maybe, we can create (or, best case, find) a universal truth, thus furthering our understanding of human nature, thus allowing us one step further towards our ideals. So we keep asking questions, keep learning, keep searching. It’s a quixotic journey. One we love and hate.

An INFJ is a lover of humanity but has serious reservations about those within it.

For this, I quote Fyodor Dostoyevsky (via The Brothers Karamazov):“The more I love humanity in general the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together. I know from experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom.

In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.”It’s a fault from our ideals. Humanity, as a concept, has the potential to be perfect but humans, as a concept and otherwise, do not. When we deal with people, we are reminded of this. But it doesn’t mean we’re not going to keep striving towards our ideals or treat you like an equal. We’re all dysfunctional.

The “dreamer/doer” trait is an overstatement.

Yes. We dream about a world where our morals and ideal prevail. A lot. But the internet has the tendency to exaggerate just how big our efforts are. Most of the time our “doing” is on a very very small scale. Like, I live by my own morals and whatnot but I’m not out there directly fighting against the system. If I happen to inspire someone through my way of living, cool. If not, I’m still living by my own code to the best of my ability. Not all INFJs are on King Jr. level.

The whole “rare” thing. Stop it. We hate it.

I get that the internet thinks we’re super cool unicorns or whatever, but I truly, utterly, *insert adjective that suits your taste* hate the fact that this is always mentioned when talking about INFJs. In a world that’s obsessed with social media, the idea of being unique is a selling point, I get it. But INFJs really, truly, do not care about being rare or unique. Being rock is more desirable.All in all, as an INFJ, I must tell you that being an INFJ isn’t all that it’s cut out to be. Yes, we dream a lot. Yes, we feel a lot. Yes, we think a lot. But, most of the time, I think it’s safe to say that we’re just exhausted people who forget to human…whatever that may mean.

9 Truths About What It’s Honestly Like To Be An ENFP

9 Truths About What It’s Honestly Like To Be An ENFP

You may be familiar with the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.) Perhaps you have even taken one of those free online tests to discover your four-letter “code.” You may have even gotten ENFP (Extrovert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving) as your result when you took the test.

The ENFP type is best known as “The Inspirer,” “The Champion,” or simply idealists. Sometimes they are known for their ability to come up with many creative solutions or ideas to a problem, with the belief that they all could equally be good.

If you were to look up the ENFP type, you would likely find that we have a reputation for being extremely creative, with constant ideas floating in our minds 24/7. That we are afraid of commitment, flaky, or that we tend to have a “grass is greener on the other side” mentality. And maybe, to a small extent, this can be true for some, depending on how healthy and mature they are.

It’s my wish that this article will help Non-ENFPs to understand our type better. I also hope to help my fellow ENFPs achieve a better understanding of themselves and why they think and feel the way they do.

1. ENFPs live in the world of possibilities.

We’re constantly thinking of what we could be doing or experiencing in our lives, whether it be related to our careers, traveling, or our creative pursuits. We are always thinking of what could be. But more than that, we are also inwardly thinking up ways to actualize our ideas. The sky is the limit with an ENFP, and even then, we may find a way to go beyond that.

2. Our minds are hyperactive.

While our behavior may sometimes indicate differently, ENFPs can never stop thinking. Sometimes our thoughts race so fast, we can’t even verbalize them. Thoughts, ideas, questions about life, are constantly coming and going before we know it. Then we forget what we were just thinking about ten minutes ago. And, uh, where was I going with this? Oh yeah.

3. Small talk is tedious for us.

We will engage in it if we must, but that intuition of ours will always find a way to deepen the conversation into something more. If you bring up how nice the weather is today, we will turn it into what our ideal weather would be like, how long it would last, and how we would feel if that were to happen. Or if you bring up some gossip, we will either turn a deaf ear to it or (depending on the maturity of the ENFP) ask hypothetical questions related to it. (I.e. “Wow, can you imagine if someone did that to you? I would be horrified! I’d never forgive them!”)

4. On our most stressful days, we feel “stuck.”

A stressed ENFP is a very unhappy ENFP. Under long-term stress, we tend to feel like we have lost our creative abilities. We feel stuck in a rut. Our minds may temporarily close off from new ideas. We become cranky and might withdraw more. We may obsess over past events or mistakes that we don’t usually dwell on, perhaps even seeking some reassurance. We also become nitpicky or pedantic.

5. But once we feel that spark of inspiration again, we charge head-on.

Once our inspiration is reignited, we feel like we can tackle anything life throws at us. We become more self-confident, more lighthearted, more optimistic, and more creative again.

6. We are impulsive, but we can also reflect.

Because we are dominant perceivers, we can be somewhat impulsive when making decisions. When we see a good opportunity to realize one of our ideas, we may take off after it without a second thought. When we get a good idea, we may immediately start working on a way to make it real if we like it well enough. Sometimes because of this, someone who is more conscientious may reel us back into reality.

That said, we can also carefully reflect before leaping into action. Because we make decisions based on what feels right to us (be it morally, ethically, and so on,) we are perfectly capable of stepping back and determining whether it is something we should pursue at any given time. We can also reflect to decide how we feel about our options before making a decision.

7. We love people, but we have a select few that we especially love.

ENFPs are a friendly bunch, and we love people. But more often than not, we tend to have a smaller circle of friends and family who we love the absolute most and spend the most time with. Often we even prefer one-on-one to groups, because it means we can get closer to those we especially love, where groups usually make this harder to do.

8. We are more intuitive about your feelings than you realize.

While our primary focus is ideas and possibilities, we are not ignorant of people’s feelings. In fact, we can be very perceptive. The difference is that we don’t want to make snap judgments about how you are feeling without first gathering more information that confirms what we perceive. So at times, we may hold off saying or doing anything. We may ask questions, of a non-invasive kind, to determine your emotional state. Or we may simply ask if you’re okay.

9. When an ENFP shows you they care, they really mean it.

ENFPs value sincerity in whatever they say and do. Chances are that if they are concerned about you, then they really are concerned. So take it for what it is, because a healthy ENFP will have no ulterior motives.

All in all, ENFPs are great people! We are loving, caring, imaginative, quirky, creative, easygoing, and a walking contradiction. We genuinely appreciate those who see and appreciate our strengths. Those who are caring enough to bring our weaknesses to our attention will also, over time, have our respect. And while it’s pretty great to be an ENFP, it also has its challenges, particularly in the workforce. Be patient with us, and it will pay off. Also, don’t be afraid to offer constructive criticism.

12 Things You Should Absolutely Know About The INFJ In Your Life

12 Things You Should Absolutely Know About The INFJ In Your Life

INFJs are rare. Seriously. This personality type makes up only one percent of the world’s population, which means we are habitually misunderstood. If you have an INFJ in your life, here are some things you should know.

We have no problem cutting people out of our lives. It’s called the INFJ “door slam.” In fact, we’re known for our puzzling metamorphosis from kind and caring to indifferent and detached. We can be warm, yet distant. This usually happens as a result of tolerating too much and/or allowing someone to push us too far emotionally. When we’ve decided we’ve had enough, we react accordingly and don’t look back.

When it comes to relationships, we’re all in or all out. If it’s a fling you’re looking for, don’t waste your time. We tend to steer clear of anything casual, as we are more interested in something long-term.

This doesn’t mean we are willing to settle. Truth be told, it takes someone pretty damn special for us to be inclined to drop anchor. INFJ’s know exactly what we want, and aren’t afraid to go after it. We want to be with someone who is both our lover and friend. Someone with whom we can create bonds that are multidimensional. Physically, emotionally, intellectually, mentally, and spiritually. To put it simply, we’re looking for a soulmate.

Our superpower: intuition. We have this sixth-sense-like ability that even we don’t fully understand, therefore we certainly can’t explain to others. We’ll get hit with this ambiguous gut feeling about a situation, but aren’t sure what it means nor why/how we know it. Regardless, we follow and trust that feeling, because it has never led us awry.

Our preferred method of communication is written, and we tend to live in our own heads. Imagine having 63 Google tabs open at once. That is what the brain of an INFJ looks like. We can be ridiculously scatterbrained at times, thus it is much easier to write it all down and proceed as we see fit.

Our hidden talent: we’re chameleons. Especially INFJ’s who also happen to be a Pisces. We are able to adapt to almost any situation or group of people, and mimic the behavior of others through quite convincing facades. There are few people who see our “real selves”.

Alone time is a requirement. We give ample time and energy to those we care about, generally taking care of others needs before our own. Consequently, we end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, needing a break to recharge and regroup. We have a fairly remarkable aptitude for absorbing everyone else’s emotions, both a gift and a curse.

We’re familiar with contradiction and can play the optimist/pessimist roles equally. We are highly emotional, but maintain our ability to be rational. We’re both fascinated and exhausted by others. We love the idea of spontaneity, but also like for things to be planned out. We’re organized, but our creative tendencies often generate disorder.

We focus on the big picture, studying things on a fundamental level and connecting the dots to figure out what may happen subsequently. We have endless questions, which also means we’re full of insight. We won’t engage in harping on the past unless it is going to help illustrate something related to our future, or the bigger picture.

Because of our minority personality type, we’re vulnerable to loneliness. Thus, we’ve become accustomed to being highly independent individuals following our own paths. We have strong ideas and beliefs, and we remain motivated in moving toward our vision.

Conflict is a major stressor. We relentlessly pursue harmony in our relationships, and will do everything in our power to establish and maintain a good rapport with those around us. Unfortunately, this often leads us into one-sided relationships where we continually give support that is not reciprocated.

We require lots of patience. It takes time to peel back our many layers, but we’re worth it. Give us our alone time, don’t play games, and open up to us and we will do the same in return. INFJs are highly multifaceted individuals that can be both unpredictable and challenging. When we are committed, we take it seriously and we’re faithful.

INFJs are incredibly thoughtful and pay attention to the littlethings. We’re great listeners, unbelievably supportive, and will do everything in our power to help you continually grow. If an INFJ is pursuing you, we can see you as a long-term partner and will make sure that you are taken care of on every level.

What You Need Most In A Relationship, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

What You Need Most In A Relationship, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Relationships are a mix of excitement, longing, frustration, and complexity. The beauty of having a loving relationship is the connection you build with your significant other and having an opportunity to share your life and experiences with them. When you find someone who can meet your emotional needs it can be one of the most amazing connections you can have with another person.

By understanding who you are and using your Myers-Briggs personality profile it can help you figure out the best way to navigate your relationship to create a closer connection to your SO (significant other) versus doing the opposite. First of all, it’s important to know your personality type. If you are unfamiliar with Myers-Briggs personality profiles, click here to find out yours and have your SO do the same. Based on your personality type, your needs will be different. So, let’s navigate together how you can make your relationship work based on your Myers Briggs personality type.

Here you go: ESFP: If you’re an ESFP this is who you are: ESFPs are adventure seekers. Here are some signs of a true ESFP. You may spend your extracurricular time snowboarding, hiking, parasailing, participating in marathons or different adventures which make you feel alive and in the moment. You can’t help it. It’s in you to be adventurous and a fun-seeker. You make a great partner too. You love being in a relationship, but only if the relationship allows you to continue to seek out new adventures.

Relationship advice: Make sure you include your partner in some of your adventures and excursions. Adventures make you feel present in the moment are part of your core spirit. You need to make your partner part of these experiences to continue to strengthen your bond with them. Make sure you and your SO are planning events in which you can share meaningful experiences. Together, try glamping, water rafting, or taking in an experience such as maybe observing nature. In doing so, it will help you stay connected to your SO.

ISFP: You are an artist in heart and spirit. You see the beauty in others but sometimes may have difficulty receiving the same reciprocity from your SO. When someone values you as much as you appreciate them inside and out, you’ll know that you have found the person for you. Relationship advice: You see the good and beauty in others, but you are yearning to receive this recognition from your SO too.

Make sure you include plenty of interaction with your partner in creative formats. It can consist of checking out local art exhibits, botanical gardens, doing architectural tours, etc. because the visual interactions help to feed your emotional connection to your partner. Sharing and appreciating cultural events with one another will help you both to see the beauty of life, and nature in others.

It will also help your partner understand what makes you tick and help them see not only your outer beauty but inner beauty and spirit too. ESFJ: You have a knack for helping those in need. Because you are a natural giver and nurturer, it’s easy for you to fall into a relationship. But, often times, you may find yourself depleted as you give and give and not receive the same in return. When you have find someone who loves you and wants to be with you not because of what you can provide or give to them but because they genuinely love you too, it is evident and appreciated on your part.

Relationship advice: You need to be taken care of because you tend to take care of others. Let your partner know the importance of small gestures for you. You enjoy receiving flowers, gifts with personal sentiments behind them, and just knowing that someone has your back. Your partner should surprise you with an impromptu excursion, some time in wine country, or treat you to something you can enjoy, i.e., a massage, a celebratory dinner, etc. It will help you feel safe and secure in your relationship knowing that they have your back too.

ISFJ: Safety, stability, and security are important to you. It helps you to love freely and willingly. You tend to invest a lot in your relationships and want it reciprocated in kind. You know you have met the one that is right for you when these fears become alleviated. They will make you the center of their world and leave little doubt as to how important you are to them.

Relationship tip: Let your partner know you need quality time and interactions. You need to know you matter to them. When you get this from them, it will make you feel less insecure in your relationship with them and allow you to open up to them entirely. Open and continuous communication will help your relationship flourish. Texting is cool, having quality face-to-face interactions, using FaceTime, and talking on the phone matter too. Carve out special times for interactions with your SO and make consistent plans to be around one another. It will nurture your relationship and give you the comfort needed that they are committed to you.

ENTP: Sometimes you can get a bad rep, and seem like you aren’t willing to commit. It’s because you have a lot going through your head relating to ideas, options, and what you’re trying to accomplish. You like keeping your options open, but it doesn’t mean you can’t commit. It has to be the right fit. Here’s how you will know. Being with the person who is the right connection for you, will open up your world beyond what you’re able to see. This is a big deal because you see the world from a lot of perspectives. Your partner will challenge you, make you feel like you can accomplish more, and you will naturally want to be better for them.

Relationship advice: Because you are often misunderstood, and you can seem like you are on the fence in your relationship. Be open and have plenty of communication with your SO. Let them know that you need the mental stimulation with them because it helps to feed your emotional and sexual energy with them. If you are in a relationship you will appreciate someone who is highly communicative, allows you to share your ideas and thoughts of the world openly. Watching movies, reading about specific topics and doing activities like crossword puzzles with your SO, will deepen your connection with them and make you feel as though they are part of your personal growth too.

INTP: If you’re an INTP, one of your best traits is loyalty. You will be there unconditionally for your partner. But, here’s the key to making sure your partner is there for you too. They will love you, but not necessarily need you. Confused? Because you are rational and you know yourself well, sometimes you may not pick up on the subtleties of others feelings.

It can be hard for you to differentiate when someone is genuinely there for you. Here is how you can decipher. If they choose to be with you, decide to do for you without gain, but because they want to do so, this one is someone to take seriously. Some other clues, because I know you want more details, are their responses to being around you. They enjoy you, your independence, and aren’t overly needy with you. They are comfortable in their skin. If you see these traits in your SO, keep moving forward with this relationship.

Relationship advice:  You are an independent thinker and highly logical, but don’t be afraid to engage your feelings too. Your feelings often aren’t rational, but they can give you a gut feeling if something feels right or wrong if you learn to trust them. Take some risks in your relationship with your SO. Put your passions, dreams, and thoughts out there in the open to your SO. I know this is probably freaking you out a bit, but try it in small doses. It will help your SO know that you value and trust them and also help you to build your emotional bond with them.

ENTJ: Hey ENTJ’s, one thing that is amazing about you is your ability to think things through to the end. It will be visible when you fall in love because this person will become a natural extension of your life and life plans. You are a thinker and strategic in nature, so when you align with someone, it will logically click together. You will continue to think out the why’s inevitably, when’s and how’s,’ but this is when you need to know your heart is at play. You are with them because you want to be with them. And this is the emotional aspect that you need to embrace.

Relationship advice: Stop strategizing as much and go with the flow. Love is a mix of logic, illusion, and mirages. I know you are re-reading that sentence like WTH. But, what I’m saying to you is let go of some of your desires to always plan and see the future, and be with your partner in the present. It means being spontaneous about going on a trip, doing something new that might be outside of your comfort zone, and carpe diem (seizing the moment). Try to do this regularly. Planning is essential to get things done, but you and your SO too will treasure those moments of spontaneity and simply being in the moment.

INTJ: You have some high standards. You’re very clear on what you will and will not tolerate. Having standards is a good thing. But, sometimes life can throw you a curve ball when you have a specific picture of your mind of what you want, and it shows up in a different package. You will know that you have met the one for you when you start to think about whether you are good enough fit for them? It’s an oxymoron, but true.

Relationship tip: Be flexible with your partner and observant. Talk openly about relationship expectations with one another. And honor them. Create consistent timeframes for specific commitments to one another. Check in frequently to make sure you both are getting what you need. You both like order in what you are doing in your life and knowing that you both are on the same wavelength will help your relationship blossom and become stronger.

ESTP: You like to be needed, but not by everyone. This principle applies to those you love and care for deeply. When you have met the one you have determined will be your SO, your tendency to care and take care of them will be on full display. It will even shock you. Go with it because intuitively you will feel they are the right fit for you because you care about them and their well-being.

Relationship advice: You move pretty quickly through life. You are action-oriented and believe things only happen if you put yourself out there and do it. Here is how you can make this work in your relationship. Look at your relationship as an adventure and do things that you know will make you feel like you and your SO are creating your original love adventure. You have an adventuresome spirit, so bring your SO into your world and show them how fun you can be when you are in your element. Make time to do something with them once a month that you genuinely find enjoyable and exhilarating. It will make you even more connected to them as you show them how multifaceted you can be.

ISTP: You can get stressed out navigating relationships. You tend to practical, smart and just grounded in reality. When you can’t figure out your partner’s expectations, it can stress you out and cause you to disconnect, not because you don’t care, but because you may struggle to figure it out. When you find a fit, you’ll know it because you won’t overthink it. It will come naturally and flow smoothly. You fit with them, and they will fit with you.

Relationship advice: Communicate, communicate, communicate. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Don’t assume why they are feeling or reacting a certain way. Instead, ask them why to seek a clear understanding of where your SO is coming from and what they need from you. Check in regularly via communication, and be present in your interactions with one another so you can learn to understand your SO’s needs. Your SO will appreciate it and will help your relationship to thrive and move forward.

ESTJ: You like to be in control, and you are the one who usually takes charge of all aspects of your life. You are methodical. You know how you want things to play out. And this works well in other aspects of your life but can be detrimental in your relationships. You will know you have found love when you can let go of your need to control every aspect of it. It will be tough. But, you have to lean into this one, if you want your relationship to prosper.

Relationship advice: Resist the urge to control every aspect of your relationship. It will be hard because you are use to and comfortable in taking charge. It’s an admirable trait, but one that has to be balanced in your relationship. By allowing yourself to give your partner some flexibility and an ability to be true to themselves will free up some of that pressure you may feel always to manage the situation.

Your relationship is a relationship. It doesn’t need to be managed to a tee. Practice allowing your partner to make decisions for both of you. Let your SO be true to themselves and watch this help your relationship grow a great deal. You’ll find that your partner will also grow and you will become more confident knowing that they have your back too!

ISTJ: ISTJ’s are needed in the world and can be good partners in relationships because they are consistent. You have a moral compass and when you commit to something you usually see it through. You like rules and authority and have a guide to the way you do things in your life. You will know that you have found the right person when you are willing to put yourself out there for them, and they challenge your belief systems which make you reassess how you see things.

Relationship advice: Flexibility is a word which will help you make your relationship better. Sometimes rules are made to be broken or let’s say revised. Don’t be afraid to try things your partner suggests even if you have a tried and true way of doing things. It will feel uncomfortable, but also help you to reassess maybe some of the rules and value systems you have been holding near and dear. When you are hesitant about something relating to your SO, ask them why they see it the way they do, listen, and then observe how it works for them. It will open up your relationship dynamics and help both of you complement one another.

ENFP: Often known as the explorers and putting all of your energy behind those things that interest you, it’s easy for you to move throughout relationships continuously. It’s not that you don’t want to commit, you don’t want to feel as though a relationship limits you from being true to yourself and what you need to feel connected to the world. You will know you are in love when your partner allows you to be who you are without feeling restricted, is complementary to what you are doing, and helps to expand your world-view.

Relationship advice: Sometimes you can get in your head and stay there. It’s because you have a lot going on in your mind space. Do the following in your relationship. Make your SO a part of what you are doing and focused on in your life. Ask for your SO’s input regularly, how they see it, how they look at you do it better, etc. Let your SO know when you are taking some time away to focus on something, so they know it’s not that you are ignoring them but need these moments to recharge and be better for them. It will provide them with the security of letting them know how important they are to you and nurture your relationship while still making you feel like you are unlimited in pursuing your endeavors.

INFP: You know you are an INFP if you know how to make things look better than they may be in real life. It’s a good trait. You see the good in others, and you know how to orate this in such a way that others buy into what you are presenting. But sometimes this unrealistic picture you paint in your mind, along with others means that you aren’t fair as to what you expect from your partner. You’ll know you have found someone who is compatible for you when you don’t have to make anything up or add to the narrative. It will be a solid truth as to their character, personality traits, and who they are as a person.

Relationship advice: Be reasonable with your partner. Have realistic expectations of them. If you hit a speed bump in your relationship go to your most authentic and trustworthy friend. Yes, that is my creative way of saying, go to the person who is honest to a fault and ask them about your relationship issue to ensure you are not holding someone to standards that are not attainable. When you feel like you want to give up in your relationship go to that sounding board to make sure you are fair. Don’t expect perfection, instead think more of the lines of work in progress. It will help you to assess your SO more fairly and your relationship to evolve naturally.

ENFJ: You’re warm and fuzzy and smart too. It makes you quite attractive to others. You enjoy learning, and you are a natural teacher to others. You see things clearly from the other person’s perspective. It’s a good trait to have, but often can leave you being overly sympathetic to someone else’s needs versus your own. When you meet a person who is worthy of you, you’ll know it because they will be vested in your needs too. It will be the person who mirrors many of the traits you have given to others which is now reciprocated to you.

Relationship advice: You know the old saying, “There is more happiness in giving than receiving.” You have that one down. But, there can also be happiness in receiving too. Don’t be afraid to put out your needs in your relationship too. And when those needs are met, it’s ok to accept them and be happy in the process. Your needs matter too!

Make sure you let your partner know when you are feeling a little burned out with giving and allow your SO to step in and help ease you through these moments. Looking for ideas? Let your SO run a bath for you, take an errand off your plate, or sit and cuddle with you. It will help you learn the importance of being nourished as well as being the nourisher in your relationship.

INFJ: If you are an INFJ, you are scarily perceptive of others. People naturally open up to you with some of their deepest secrets. It’s your gift, and it’s one you don’t take lightly or abuse. The tricky part for you is when you are in a relationship, you may not feel that others get you. You are deeply complex, yet simple. Your SO will be evident when they see in you what you easily can see in others.

Relationship advice: You can connect with others because of your intuitiveness and high level of perceptiveness. Now comes the hard part of doing this in your relationship. You have wanted someone who can understand you beyond what is at the surface. In your relationship, it will be strange to have this dynamic. But, you have to trust your feelings. Go with it, and let your partner embrace you for exactly who you are as a person. Don’t overthink it. Quality time, open communication, and transparency of your emotions with your SO will help your relationship in significant ways.

Understanding your personality type can give you great insights into your SO and relationship. Don’t despair when you hit a hiccup in your relationship. You can use this cheat sheet to focus on those things which will help you design the relationship that works best for you and your relationship. Now that you have an understanding of who you are and what you need based on your Myers-Brigg personality, you can cultivate a relationship that will give you what you need the most.

Exactly How To Make The Most Of Your Fall, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Exactly How To Make The Most Of Your Fall, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Fall is in the air and our souls are itching to get out there and experience it all. But what exactly should your Myers-Briggs personality do this season? Read below and happy Fall to us all!

ISFJ: You are a lover and a giver. Fall is a great time to get involved with a non profit organization or charity and spend your time helping those who need it whether it’s through soup kitchens or spending time with kids in need. This will bring you the joy and purpose you crave.

ISTJ: You’re all about the memories! Time to get your family and friends into coordinated outfits and do a Fall photo shoot throwing leaves, decorating pumpkins, having Thanksgiving dinner, you name it.

ESTJ: You’re big on planning and hosting events. Your extroverted personality just can’t give up the opportunity to put something together. Get involved with your community or local organization to host a holiday event for a charitable cause.

ESFJ: You have a knack for cooking. Fall is the perfect time to try out all those new recipes. Host a bunch of friends over for dinner so they can compliment every dish. You could even go apple-picking and bake your own apple pie.

 ISTP: You want to be exhilarated ISTP. Take a hot air balloon ride up in the sky, and when you’re done, come down for some ice-skating. Both give you that “wind blowing through your hair” feeling you love.

ISFP: You’re all about the aesthetics and the feelings Fall brings. Take a stroll through the park with a loved one, or go on a hay ride, and take adorable photos in a pumpkin patch. You want to capture the true essence of Fall.

ESTP: The thrill of competition really hits home for an ESTP. Play a game of flag football under the canopy of Autumn leaves, or take a stab at a pumpkin pie eating contest! Either way, your competitive spirit will be happy.

ESFP: The host with the most, ESFP, now’s the time to throw a holiday party no one can forget. You’re not big on planning ahead so ask your ESFJ and ESTJ friends for some help on the operations and logistics. You handle the games and food that will make the night one to remember.

INTJ: You know what to do INTJ. Mother nature is calling out to you this fall. Time to take a hike! You need to plan all the weekend getaways and enjoy every bit of nature you can this season.

INFJ: Intuitive and sensitive INFJ is all about experiencing the beauty of the Fall season. Take a drive down a scenic route. Go to a pumpkin patch to bask in the way the sunlight hits the pumpkins. Grab a cup of hot cocoa, cozy up with your friends, and enjoy the warmth that that comes from the inside as the temperature drops outside.

ENTJ: You love activities that keep your mind and body stimulated. Cooler temperatures shouldn’t stop you. Now is the time to do all of those outdoor activities. Go sky-diving or rock climbing and you can challenge your body while enjoying the crisp Fall air.

ENFJ: You’re a child at heart, full of enthusiasm and wonder. You love everything there is about Fall, including but definitely not limited to, jumping in a pile of leaves. So don’t limit yourself ENFJ. Go to every fall festival and partake in all the events you can.

INTP: You’re inventive, creative, and not a big fan of failure. Participate in a pumpkin carving contest this season. Even if your pumpkin doesn’t win, you’ll get to take it home and make something else of out it, which speaks to your resourcefulness.

INFP: You love the warmth and comfort of Fall. Your favorite thing to do is find the perfect book, the best cup of coffee, and cozy up on your couch in your pjs. If it’s a bit too cold, you’re happy just being home.

ENTP: Your mischievous nature is all about Halloween. So when it comes to haunted houses, you love them, and should go to every single one you find. Better yet, put together your own haunted house or have a horror movie marathon.

ENFP: Pack a bag and go camping in the great outdoors with your best buds. Enjoy the beauty of nature and the spontaneity she brings while you mull over life’s greatest mysteries. Your curious mind will love it.

Here’s What Possibility Every Myers-Briggs Type Looks Forward To When It Comes To Love

Here’s What Possibility Every Myers-Briggs Type Looks Forward To When It Comes To Love

INTP

The possibility of a collaborator.

Most people treat the INTP like a professor, like someone to observe and listen when they talk about things. While this suits INTPs much of the time, romantically, INTPs are looking for someone to share things with, to exchange ideaswith, not just a one-sided lecture.

ENFP

The possibility of someone new.

ENFPs love the exciting beginning of a relationship, with all the ups and downs that accompany this new start. This isn’t to say that they are incapable of being in a steady relationship-merely that those initial feelings are some of an ENFP’s favorite.

ISFP

The possibility of understanding.

ISFPs march to the beat of their own drum, and while this suits them most of the time, there are times when they wish for someone to really get them. Finding someone who was not only interested in the things they love but also understood and appreciated their passions would be like hitting the jackpot for the ISFP.

ESTJ

The possibility of a laugh.

While people often see the ESTJ as a take-charge, commanding personality, this type actually likes having their world turned upside down (if only so they can right it once more). Many ESTJs have hidden senses of humor, even if they don’t often show it, and a sense of humor is often what draws them to other people.

ESFJ

The possibility of standing out.

ESFJs love being both different as well as the center of attention. This extends into what excites them about a potential new partner, with the “socialness” of a new partner being key in judged suitability. ESFJs are so gregarious they simply wouldn’t appreciate a partner they didn’t feel proud of.

INFJ

The possibility of knowledge.

INFJs love to learn, especially about their loved ones as they feel that this breeds true connection (something that is very important to INFJs). A partner that clams up about personal topics would probably not be seen as a potential partner for very long in the eyes of the INFJ.

ENTP

The possibility of growth.

ENTPs often feel that they are on a never-ending journey to be “good enough” and this often translates into a disinterest in people they feel have it “all figured out”. This is not to say that they are searching for someone with huge issues, as their desire for development not about fixing someone else; rather, it’s about growing together.

ISTJ

The possibility of a future.

This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows an ISTJ, they are future-focused in every aspect of their life, potential partnerships included. Whether they look to see themselves getting married, having children, or growing old with someone, they will likely abandon any relationship with a large likelihood of failure.

ESTP

The possibility of excitement.

ESFPs are all about having a good time, and they are not about to let a partner get in the way. This is not to say that they are unfaithful partners, rather that they will not tolerate a lot of restrictions or boredom. They look for someone who promises the opposite of these traits, someone who seems to offer both companionship as well as a party.

ISTP

The possibility of the end of dating.

While ISTPs can fear commitment, it doesn’t mean they don’t hate dating, indeed it can be one of an ISTPs least favorite parts of life, seeing the process as dull and agitating. They look forward to the promise of moving on to the next stage, given that their partner allows them plenty of breathing room.

ESFP

The possibility of fun.

ESFPs love to have a vibrant social life, and any potential partner should not only be a willing participant but should also provide an additional circle of friends to add to their group. This is mainly because ESFPs want to feel that a romantic relationship adds to their life, rather than secreting them away from it.

INTJ

The possibility of wildness.

INTJs are extremely controlled in everything they do, and while some might think this level of control extends to their romantic relationships, this isn’t typically the case. Indeed, INTJs often love the way their partners shun social morays in favor of being true to themselves, and a sense of the unconventional is often what first attracts the INTJ.

ISFJ

The possibility of happiness.

This is not to paint ISFJs as essentially unhappy, indeed this type is usually very positive, rather than negative people tire the ISFJ out very quickly. Because of this, they are intrigued by people that seem to radiate a sense of peaceful happiness, it promises them a future in which they can focus on more than fixing someone else (a pitfall that ISFJs are often afraid of).

INFP

The possibility of direction.

INFPs are dreamers and drifters, and most of the time this suits them. However, many INFPs have an underlying sense of stress that comes from being unsure of how to really get the things that they truly want. This often translates into a desire for a partner with a more take-charge attitude.

ENTJ

The possibility of a companion.

ENTJs are independent, but this doesn’t mean that they are not looking for someone that they can trust to be there 100% when the ENTJ needs them. This is not to say that they are not looking for something exciting, merely that the base of what they are looking for is someone who will “walk beside them”.

ENFJ

The possibility of progress.

ENFJs look for partners that can provide something that the ENFJs cannot provide themselves. This is not to paint them as harsh realists, but rather showcasing how achieving they typically are. They do not want a partner that feels insignificant or insecure in light of their accomplishments and as such will look for partners who can at least match them.

12 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have An ENFP Friend

12 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have An ENFP Friend

1. They will always, always, always encourage you. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if your idea is unrealistic, or if you’ve tried it over and over again. Short of doing something that will hurt yourself or people around you, an ENFP will be your biggest support system- the one to stand beside you when you make it, and help you pick up the pieces to try again when you don’t.

2. They are going to be open to all of the possibilities. ENFPs are known to explore every option, because they can genuinely see all the sides to majority of situations. If you’re stuck inside your head and can’t figure out a solution, your ENFP friend is going to give you an entire list of possibilities- and though you might have to weed out the ones that aren’t always logical- you’ll be surprised when one of those options turns out to be the perfect one you needed.

3. They will be spontaneous when you need it. You had a bad day? Bad week? You feel like you’re stuck? Your ENFP will do whatever it takes to try and get you in better spirits, and if a change of scenery, change of pace, or an unplanned trip is what does it, then even better!

4. They really want to know you. No, reallyENFPs can seem flighty or surface level initially, yet it doesn’t take long for them to decide if they really want to know you- and if they do, they are serious. All the things you thought no one cared about? All those details you are afraid to bore someone with? You won’t, not with your ENFP friend. They want to know everything about you, because honestly? This stuff is fascinating.

5. They’re going to cheer you up, always. Listen, we all know there is a time and place to be sad, angry, or just down in general. Your ENFP will respect that, no doubt. Yet these types are also known to be balls of positive and infectious energy, and love sharing that with the people they care about. So if they can make your day better? They are going to do it in any way they know how.

6. They will push you to be the best version of yourself. Yes, this is partially because they are eternal optimists, but more importantly it’s because they can find the best aspects of anyone they meet. An ENFP friend knows the incredible things you are capable of, and unquestionably believes that you can do it- so they will be the ones who are pushing you forward to actually take the risk to achieve them. They won’t boss you or harass you about it, but they will be the support system right by your side, ready to encourage you to take on those incredible aspirations of yours.

7. They can (and will) have conversation about a variety of topics. Pick a topic. Any topic. Your ENFP friend will talk about it to the extent of what they know, and if they don’t? They’ll want to listen and learn as much as they can from you about it. It can be anything from your favorite music to the ponderings of the universe- they are up for it, And even if the topic isn’t their first choice, they still will give it a shot- because if it’s important to you, it’s important to them too.

8. Their loyalty is off the charts. When first meeting one, and ENFP will appear to have a lot of acquaintance like relationships that come and go without much thought. Yet when an ENFP is invested in you, their loyalty is off the charts. If you need them, they will be there, and they aren’t going anywhere without a fight. You will never doubt whether or not they care for you.

9. They can express things without feeling ashamed or judged. ENFPs are very…expressive. We tend to project our ideas and thoughts out into the world without much filter, and we enjoy it. While our emotions might be a bit more in the guarded side, we are always down to discuss our thoughts and ideas and stories- and we will not judge you in the slightest for the things you share with us.

10. If you’re dealing with a breakup, job loss, any other kind of devastating situation, they will simultaneously empathize with you in your pain, while also lifting you up out of it. We all go through incredibly heart-wrenching experiences from time to time, and turning to your friends is a natural thing for most of us to do eventually. Your ENFP friend will be ready with open arms, and will empathize with you in your darkest and most broken moments, feeling everything right alongside you so you’re not alone.

However, in a strange sense, your ENFP will also find a way to help you slowly lift yourself out of it- maybe it’s from talking about the possibilities waiting for you, maybe it’s just from laughing until you can’t breathe, but by the time you’ve left, you may still feel sad about your situation, but somehow hopeful for a better tomorrow.

11. They are persistent about maintaining the friendship without being overbearing. Okay, maybe a bit overbearing. But like, in a tolerable way. When it comes to friendship, ENFPs may get distracted with all the things going on in their minds/lives, but they will also do their best to keep the friendship going- which means they will absolutely bug you about making plans or spending time together until that actually happens. Because we understand that it’s easy to get distracted and forget- but we aren’t going to let you do it that easily.

12. They will be able to put you at ease and make you feel comfortable. There is something about ENFPs that make you feel seen and at ease after only spending a short amount of time with them. With the constant stream of ideas, optimistic nature, and excitement about anything and everything, it’s easy to feel like you’re appreciated whenever you’re spending time with them. It doesn’t take long before you feel yourself wanting to open up around them, even if it’s not usually in your nature.

Here’s How To Pick Up Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Here’s How To Pick Up Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

INFJ: Can I follow you? Because my mom told me to follow my dreams.

ISFJ: When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you

ENFJ: I write your name in the sky but the clouds blow it away. I write your name in the sand but the waves wash it away. I write your name in my heart and forever it will stay.

ESFJ: Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

INTP: Dang girl, are you an appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

ISTP: Hey boy, are you sleep? Cause I don’t get nearly enough of you and it’s ruining my social, emotional, and over all mental health.

ENTP: I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain.

There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.

ESTP: I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you. *kiss* Oh what a shame, it seems like I lost the bet.

INTJ: You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

ISTJ: Most people like to watch the Superbowl cuz it only happens once a year, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

ENTJ: I’m an army recruiter, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place and “be all you can be.”

ESTJ: You know how I got these guns? *points to biceps* Lifting children out of poverty.

INFP: I blog about you sometimes.

ISFP: Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is by far my favorite.

ENFP: Fascinating. I’ve been looking at your eyes all night long, ’cause I’ve never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

ESFP: Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

This Is Why They Will Never Forget You, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

This Is Why They Will Never Forget You, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

ENFP

Your ability to encourage in any situation. You have always been one to see the best in the worst situations, and when it comes to people, there is no exception. Anyone who comes into contact with you will never be able to forget how supportive and encouraging you were, and how you always had that ability to make even the darkest moments seem so incredibly bright and full of hope.

INFP

Your ability to know someone in depth almost instantly. You are a person always full of feelings and emotional depth, and it never goes unnoticed. After spending even the shortest amount of time with you, people have this insane ability of feeling completely understood, even in their innermost thoughts and feelings. No one will ever be able to forget it, even if they tried.

ENTP

Your intelligent wit. You’re more than someone who has clever jokes; You have an ability to spark a debate that reveals your intelligence and your wit all in one, and anyone who has any type of interaction with you is never going to be able to forget that curious spark you’ve managed to ignite with just one conversation.

ISFP

Your creative and soulful personality. You’re difficult to get to know well, though that doesn’t stop you from being expressive. You’re always hoping someone will take the time to dig deep and see you for who you are, and in return, you aren’t afraid to show the people you care about the side of you that is creative and complex. Once someone is able to witness that aspect of you, it’s burned into their memory forever, because honestly.

ESFJ

Your constant concern with meeting their needs. You aren’t one to let the people you love go without anything, not if you have a say in it. Anyone who has ever known you have always realized that you would go above and beyond to make sure that anything they needed was taken care of, and that isn’t something anyone will be able to forget long after you’re gone.

INTP

Your ability to have in-depth conversations. Your mind is an interesting place to explore- nothing about your thoughts are shallow. Anyone who has ever had a conversation with you has learned this fairly quick, and even after they walk away, they can’t get you out of their head. Even if they aren’t on the same intellectual level as you, they can’t help but wonder your thoughts on the next complex thing, which makes you impossible to forget.

ESFP

Your spontaneous eagerness. No two days are hardly the same when anyone is with you. You know how to make each day even better than the last, and your ability to go all out in each adventure is something people have a hard time forgetting- which is fine by you because you don’t want them to.

ISFJ

Your unwavering support- when it comes to the people you care about, you are nothing if not supportive, in every way possible. Whether they need tangible or emotional help, you are always prepared to do whatever you can, and people have a hard time forgetting the kind of support you provided them in whatever they strived to do.

ESTJ

Your protective streak. When it comes to anyone you care for, you will go out of your way to protect them at all costs. Regardless of the situation, you are not one to forsake the people who are important to you- and anyone who has ever experienced that side of you has a difficult time forgetting about it.

ISTJ

Your loyalty. In a world full of change, you’re someone who still sees the value in dedication, loyalty, and tradition. You know once you’ve committed to anyone, you’re sticking around for the long haul, and even if someone decides to walk away from you, no one can forget how you were always unshakably loyal and devoted even in the most difficult of times.

ENFJ

Your non-judgmental nature. You’re always a person people feel they can trust, even with their darkest secrets. You are a person who will take those secrets to heart, and love them anyways with an acceptance that is hard to find. People can never forget how open you are, and how willing you are to love and care for them despite their dark sides.

INFJ

Your empathy. You have an innate ability to understand multiple sides of any situation, and that kind of insight isn’t easily forgotten. You have a way of making people feel understood no matter what they’ve done or who they are- and looking back, they’ll have a difficult time recalling anyone else you understood them they way you did.

ESTP

Your adventurous and outgoing nature. You’re known for being straightforward and going with the flow, and nothing about you is ever described as ordinary. Anyone who manages to keep up with you is opened up to an entire world of new experiences, and it makes you someone that their mind comes back to again and again.

ISTP

Your ability to live in the moment. It can be hard to really get to know you, but one thing is for sure- you know how to make the most out of each moment. You are candid and ready to take on the next opportunity ahead of you, making each second feel like the only one that matters, and anyone who has ever been lucky enough to join you can’t erase those memories even if they tried.

ENTJ

Your dominance. You always know exactly what you want, and you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. There is no exception when it comes to people, and those who have ever found themselves in your sights have a hard time forgetting you and how dominant you can be when it comes to going after what you want. Despite their best attempts, anyone who has ever found themselves in your crosshairs has an impossible time forgetting about you.

INTJ

Your intelligence and complexity. Nothing about you has ever come across as conventional, and anyone who has spent any amount of significant time with you is well aware of it. You have a way of seeing the world that tends to challenge the way others think- and as much as they try to shake it, no one can ignore the way you showed them other sides to the things they always believed or thought. You have a way of flipping people on their heads.